Recently, Andrew Cuomo, the gangster governor of New York State, told fellow Trump-hater Howard Stern that if he weren’t the governor, he’d have punched Donald Trump. Apparently Cuomo was deeply, deeply offended that Trump referred to Andrew’s brother, Chris, as “Fredo.” This is a reference to the film The Godfather. In it, Fredo Corleone, a weakling, is passed over for power in favor of his brother. He resents it, makes trouble, humiliates himself, and is ultimately eliminated.
Chris Cuomo is, of course, the weakling brother of the Cuomo family. Where his father and his brother were longtime governors of New York State, Chris is nothing but a hothead and a liar, a “news” personality who famously broke quarantine while positive for COVID-19, got into an altercation with a bicycle-riding neighbor, and then staged an emergence from a quarantine he wasn’t keeping (after the entire nation already knew he hadn’t been isolating himself). It’s hard to know which is more pitiful: That Fredo Cuomo didn’t believe the rules applied to him, even as he was coughing coronavirus over his entire family (who all caught it), or that he thought the nation wouldn’t notice if he then staged the end of his faked quarantine on national television.
Now, Chris has a long history of getting into altercations with people — and he’s extremely sensitive to being called Fredo. At a beer garden before the pandemic, some local wag recognized him and called him Fredo. Chris Cuomo exploded, claiming that this term was “like the N-word for us,” where “us” is Italians. He then threatened to throw the fellow down a flight of stairs, because if there’s one thing Chris “Fredo” Cuomo likes to do, it’s threaten to assault people. This tendency to make such threats is complicated by the fact that Chris Cuomo is a weakling coward — just like his brother.
For that matter, Mafia references, where the Cuomo family is concerned, are entirely appropriate. Not only do the Cuomo brothers exhibit the same affected gangster accent common in stereotypical Mafia movies, but Cuomo runs his state as a corrupt Mafioso Don, exempting himself from his own rules, celebrating his failures as successes, and generally doing whatever he pleases. HIs attitude, and the attitudes of his simpering fool of a brother, are entirely in keeping with The Godfather‘s portrayal of a corrupt power-broker family. This didn’t stop Andrew Cuomo from complaining loudly, in his affected oh-so-Italian-New-Yorker-Joey-On-Friends accent, to Howard Stern about Trump’s use of the term.
“The Mafia stereotype has been such a stain on Italians for so long, and that’s where they go,” Cuomo whined. “If I wasn’t governor of New York, I would have decked him. Period. I mean he was attacking me, he was attacking my family, he was anti-Italian. Every nasty thing.”
But you see, Andrew, Trump wasn’t attacking “every Italian.” He was attacking your weakling brother, who lies about Trump every time he goes on air. Never has there been a more appropriate nickname for someone. Chris Cuomo is Fredo Corleone, as demonstrated by Chris Cuomo’s repeated tendency to threaten people with assault when they offend his delicate sensibilities.
Chris never actually has these fights, of course, for the same reason that brother Andrew didn’t punch Donald Trump when Andrew had the chance. It’s because both “men” are not men at all, but boys who like to talk tough and then abuse the power granted them by moron Democrat voters. In Chris’ case, his power comes from the mind-numbed idiots who watch CNN and believe his lies. In Andrew’s case, his power comes from the festering tumor that is New York City, whose population density guarantees that there will never again be a Republican governor of New York.
The Cuomos’ cowardice itself follows in a long tradition of Democrats threatening to punch actual men, if only the sun had not been in their eyes, the dog had not eaten their homework, and whatever other excuses they come up with for making threats after the fact. Why, Joe Biden himself talked tough repeatedly about how much he wanted to beat up Trump — but of course never when the two of them were actually in each other’s presence. Strange that good old Slow Joe didn’t walk across that debate stage and take a swing at the monstrous bully who was Trump during their debates. Maybe he was afraid he’d catch coronavirus.
Honestly, all this threatening, all this tough talk, is pitiful. It’s pathetic. It’s a bunch of weaklings trying to convince themselves that they’re actually men by spinning tall tales about the violence they would do, if only. “Why, I oughta coulda shoulda woulda,” the Cuomos bark in their Robert-DeNiro-in-The-Untouchables accents, hoping somebody, somewhere, will see them for something other than the hideous, pinch-faced, corrupt piles of human garbage that they are. Meanwhile, actual men, men who would react badly to Biden or either of the Cuomo brothers taking a swing at them, roll their eyes and shake their heads.
No, Chris Cuomo, you won’t be throwing anyone down a flight of stairs. No, Andrew Cuomo, you won’t be taking a swing at anyone. No, Joe Biden, you won’t be beating anybody up behind the high school gym. You will do nothing physical — because you can do nothing. The lot of you, all you weak, overcompensating Democrat males, should really stop threatening to punch anybody. We don’t believe you and, honestly, if you tried you would only humiliate yourselves further.